


Post-Battle Takeout

by Fandom_Eclipse



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Mostly Fluff I guess?, No Romance, Obligatory Pun Warning, Peter and Wade get along, Too much research went into this, i really don't know what to put here, mild swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-27 04:26:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13873101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandom_Eclipse/pseuds/Fandom_Eclipse
Summary: “Some would live out their whole lives with only a glimpse of the great Tony Stark, but Peter Parker had by now met more abnormal than normal civilians in his relatively short time living.”Peter and Wade keep on seeing each other around town without the other being aware of their presence.





	Post-Battle Takeout

A special kind of luck was needed to be able to run into the people he did. Some would live out their whole lives with only a glimpse of the great Tony Stark, but Peter Parker had by now met more abnormal than normal civilians in his relatively short time living. He personally blamed his ‘Parker luck’, but Deadpool was next to him, claiming something about destiny.

“And here I thought my life couldn’t get any weirder.”

“Sorry, what was that Spidey? I couldn’t hear you over the call of tacos from that place we just passed.”

It was saying something that this was becoming a regular occurance in his life, and Peter really wasn’t sure if that was a good thing. 

It had started as a rather ordinary day for the young vigilante. Some homework turned in last second, getting yelled at by Picklepuss at the Daily Bugle for no incriminating photos of Spider-Man, the usual. Friday patrols were always longer, since most criminals decided that weekdays were just not worth it. In a way, they were right. On the other hand, any crime happening within a few miles of Peter was practically guaranteed to be unsuccessful. 

Still, Deadpool’s random appearance had taken him by surprise. Peter knew the man’s name, along with the occasional warning to keep away from the mercenary. He had yet to run into someone who would willingly compliment Deadpool, which was downright weird. Even at their most unpopular, most other heroes still got some positive media. For some reason, Deadpool had taken down countless truly bad people, but was still hated for it.

Honestly, it was a bit too close to home for Peter.

So far, the only thing he could find himself to dislike about the Merc with a Mouth was his affinity for killing. Sure, the guy acted like an asshole, but anyone who would take fifteen consecutive bullets for a kid while covering their eyes couldn’t be entirely evil. 

“Hey Deadpool, feel like wrapping this mess up and call it a taco?”

“Fuck yeah! Tacos are the best!”

A guy to share quips with? This was turning out to be a pretty good day.

~

_‘I think Spidey likes us!’_

**‘Nobody likes us, he’s probably internally fed up with us.’**

Personally, Wade had to agree with White, but he hoped to whatever gods might still answer him seriously that Yellow was right. Sure, it was annoying when people confused him with ‘Spider-Man’, but this guy was on a whole new level of heroism. Even Wolverine liked the guy, and Logan liked nobody.

**‘In all fairness, we’re not very loveable.’**

_‘Are you kidding? We’re totally cuddly on the inside!’_

Wade went to take the head off the bastard who decided to shoot at a kid, but Spidey made it to him first. The vigilante knocked the guy into the air, webbed him to the wall and continued to fight, as if he hadn’t just put a man in a human-sized cocoon. 

_‘Okay, that was awesome?!’_

**‘I hate it, but I agree.’**

“Holy shit, you two agree on something. Is the world ending?! Damn it, I wanted to check out that Mexican place!” Wade was about to make another comment, but was cut off when a fourth voice joined the conversation.

“Hey Deadpool, feel like wrapping this mess up and call it a taco?”

_‘Spidey just made a reference to tacos. I have died and gone to box heaven.’_

**‘We can’t die, idiot.’**

He wanted to comment on how they weren’t technically boxes anymore, but instead bolded and italicized fonts. However his senses came back to him, reminding him to respond to his new favorite hero.

“Fuck yeah! Tacos are the best!”

Wade silently promised himself to not screw this up. 

_‘Do you think he likes pancakes?’_

~

In all fairness, Peter hadn’t been expecting to run into the Canadian mercenary in New York City, let alone Starbucks. That aside, he probably should’ve seen it coming. 

“Mister Slade Wilson?” The barista called out.

“It’s Wade Wilson.”

The name sent alarm bells ringing in Peter’s head. He cautiously peeked around the person in front of him. Sure enough, a hooded figure was reaching out for his coffee. The man paid for his drink before turning to leave. Ducking back into the line, only one thought crossed Peter’s mind.

Deadpool likes Starbucks?!

~

Wade strolled down the sidewalk, determinedly ignoring Yellow as the former-box was screeching the lyrics of pop songs in his head. Thankfully, White came to his aid.

**‘Is that Spidey?’**

That got his attention fast. Sure enough, his favorite vigilante was swinging down to a hot-dog stand across the street. Curious, Wade slipped through the crowd and maneuvered himself to his destination. As he approached he could start to overhear their conversation.

“Thanks, Mr. Lee! Your hot-dogs are the best.”

“Oh please, call me Stan. And anything for the hero who saved my stand from those criminals.”

“I know, but I can still feel bad for coming here often enough for you to know I prefer hot-dogs with mustard and a little bit of chili.”

“Now you go off on that whole humble schtick. If that Tony Stank guy was even half the man you were then there would be no news for those pesky reporters!”

“O...okay, works for me! Thanks again, Stan!”

Wade smiled at Spidey getting the recognition he deserved. He nodded to the hot-dog vendor. “You’re the man, Stan.”

“That’s Mr. Lee to you!”

~

Peter wasn’t even trying to look for trouble. Heck, he was still in civilian clothes when he got in the crossfire of two rival gangs. He was just about to ditch his secret identity to save the innocent bystanders when a familiar voice stopped him in his tracks.

“Geronimo!”

A red-and-black clad figure jumped from the rooftops and landed squarely on the head of a guy, causing him to collapse under the sudden weight. Taking advantage of the distraction, Peter started herding civilians out of the area. Just when the last of them filtered out, his spider sense blared as he was grabbed roughly from the back of his shirt. Before he could struggle, he felt cold metal rest against his skull. 

“D-don’ move or ah’ll shoot!”

Well...shit.

Deadpool paused, turning to the only other living people in the street. Peter could see the slight hesitation. Not wanting to cause the mercenary any more trouble than he already had, he let a smirk form on his lips. The part-time vigilante quickly grabbed the gun and crushed the barrel while simultaneously elbowing the petty criminal in the stomach. He ducked to the side as a few gunshots filled the air. Sliding the damaged gun into a nearby dumpster, Peter emerged a few seconds later. “Hey, Deadpool. Thanks for sorting that out.”

“Oh, ‘twas was but nothing, pretty-wait, did you just thank me?!” 

“Well yeah. You kinda did just save an entire street of civilians from all that shit back there. Ever think of taking up the vigilante title?” Maybe Peter liked the guy, so what?

“Nah, I’m no hero. Just your everyday merc passing through town.”

“At least let me thank you then. Come back to my apartment for lunch.” Moving out of Aunt May’s house might’ve been more for her safety than his. He’d already had Daredevil over earlier that week after an especially messy battle.

“Sorry pretty boy, but I already got a pineapple and black olive pizza with burnt crust waiting for me at home. Well, it’s not technically my home but-shit.” He glanced to his right. “Yeah, I should get going if I want to make it there on time. Boy, they better have remembered to burn the crust this time…” He focused back on Peter. “So I’ll be heading out now, see ya!” And with that, Deadpool vanished around the corner, leaving the young vigilante alone in the carnage.

~

Working with the Avengers certainly was different than his usual style, Peter figured as he swung over the robot-infested streets. The more minor heroes had been invited to fight alongside them this time, something that got even Daredevil out on the streets in broad daylight.

Peter flipped over a group of robots and landed in the small circle they were forming around a bunch of Avengers. “Hey guys, want a hand?” He kicked one into the air before webbing it to the side of a building.

“Oh em gee!! Hi Spidey!”

“I found the main server and I’m shutting it down.” The sound Iron Man’s repulsors echoed in Peter’s head as he blasted through the fighting. The vigilante focused back on serving an uppercut to to head of his opponent, accidentally entirely removing the metallic body part. 

“...oops.” He flipped backwards to avoid an attack. “Guess I got ahead of myself there.”

“Spider-Man, I swear if that was I pun, I will ban you from the tower for a week.”

“Sorry, I was just going out on a limb there, but I apparently kneed to stop.” 

“...you’re dead to me.”

“How was that a-” the robots suddenly deactivated. “...pun.”

Peter was caught off guard when Deadpool came out of nowhere, tackle-hugging him. It was only his powers that kept him standing as the mercenary started rambling about seeing each other more often. Eventually they were settling down in the lounge area of the Avengers Tower while Tony started ordering pizza. “And what kind of pizza does Deadpool like?” he asked jokingly.

“Pineapple and black olive with burnt crust.” 

Both Peter and Wade had answered at the same time, causing the room to go silent as the two looked at each other. The spider-themed hero was suddenly glad he was wearing his mask to hide the bright red blush growing on his face.

“How did you…?”

“I, er, overheard you talking about it once.”

“Seriously?! How come the authors gave you the useful info, where all I got was you liking hot-dogs with mustard and chili on them? Okay, at least tell me you like pancakes.”

“How-uh, well, my favorite is wheatcakes, which are like pancakes-”

“-but with wheat flour? Hell yes! Not perfect, but we love the same food! Now how about tacos? You seem like a taco kinda guy…”

The rest of the team observed the two as they went on to have a passionate conversation about different foods. Tony shook his head and went back to ordering pizza. Clint turned to Natasha and Steve. “Did you guys know they knew each other?” 

“Not a clue.”

**Author's Note:**

> I did so much research...so many references...it was so worth it. My biggest problem was when the fonts weren't working and I had to type in to code by hand. Leave a kudo if you enjoyed it! -Starlight
> 
> It’s all thanks for Star for this lovely fic! She wrote it all and worked so hard on it, so if you liked it, leave some kudos and a comment!! -Oakley <3


End file.
